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I want a CR-Z but...

12K views 60 replies 31 participants last post by  kyo 
#1 ·
So I've been looking into getting a CR-Z since they launched, I've been saving up my spare cash so I can just go down to the Honda dealer and slap down my cash and drive away. I got the whole thing planned out, Pearl White CVT with a spoiler, diffuser, armrest and illuminated door sills... but then in comes my fiancée and says I don't need a new car. She says we should save the money for our wedding, which is at least 2 years away at this point because she's currently living out of the country for vet school. So anyway, I'm looking for some honest opinions from CRZ drivers on what to do.

The arguments:
Hers:
My car is still fine, it's not that old and still runs perfectly.
Saving money for wedding is awesome.

Mine:
It's my money, any money I spend on the car will be replaced within the next year as it only took me that long to save up enough cash to afford the car.

She is going to need a car in a few months when she moves back to America, so she can have my current car.

The wedding is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to saving, after the wedding she's going to want a house, and then babies and then I'm 50 and still driving my lousy chevy... or worse an SUV *shudder*


Anyway, I guess I'm just a little frustrated because I really want an CRZ but she's telling me no.
 
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#3 ·
well, from the perspective of a man who was married at one time and allowed my wife to call the shots, I say do what you want with your money. not speaking from a jaded point of view here. just learned a lot of life lessons from going through that experience. if you don't treat yourself well at her insistence, it will eventually breed resentment.

Sent from my SPH-D700 using Tapatalk
 
#4 ·
^ So many places we could go on this. Domestic Bliss is a hard thing to obtain. Usually takes 20 years if you make it that far..

I'll start by saying, (without knowing your financial situation), she is probably right. But, should you exert your manly influence and put your foot down?? Maybe - but guess it depends on what your looking at in-as-much as starting a family. Waiting for several years and want to have a 3 year honeymoon - maybe a CR-Z is a good thing. Gonna do it to it and have a few quickly - Nope the future wife is right..

Of course we know there is much more to the story and dymanics that one could post. So ultimately, only you can make the call..
 
#5 ·
I'll start by saying, (without knowing your financial situation), she is probably right. But, should you exert your manly influence and put your foot down?? Maybe - but guess it depends on what your looking at in-as-much as starting a family. Waiting for several years and want to have a 3 year honeymoon - maybe a CR-Z is a good thing. Gonna do it to it and have a few quickly - Nope the future wife is right..
I do ok, I currently support myself as well as help out my grandparent and help her with money when she needs it. I'm not saying I don't want a family, I'm just saying I don't want one anytime soon. I generally keep my cars for between 3 and 6 years and this will be no exception, though I could see myself keeping this for longer. Like I said, I think I'm just frustrated is all.

oh, and my family and her's both say I should buy the car lol :pP: to her!
 
#6 ·
Before my girlfriend and I moved in together we didn't question each others finances in any way.

Then we wanted a house.. decided we could each afford it. We got a joint bank account we call the "house" account. All the bills get paid out of that account. Any furniture, maintenance stuff, etc comes from that account. We add it up each month, split it down the middle and each add that much to the account each month.
Anything else we want, clothes, tools, 1000 pairs of shoes, new car, etc we pay for out of our own personal accounts if we can afford it.
I don't know what would happen if someone couldn't add to the "house" account one month.. but that won't ever happen... gotta be responsible some time.

System works great! Makes way more sense than any other domestic finance system I've heard any friends or anyone work out.. (but I guess I'd think that since it's the system I use)
Oh, we're coming up on 17 years together, if that counts for something. Never once had a financial argument, and those kind of arguments are something that's broken up several friends marriages.

--so according to this philosophy yes, get the car!
 
#7 ·
if you're going to need a second car when she comes back stateside, then I say you should get the CRZ. Unless she really is pining for a used Kia Rio or something . . .

And it's all about compromise on both sides. Scotty's right about keeping domestic harmony but that goes both ways. If you normally replace cars every 3 to 6 and the wedding is a few years off, then this car won't impact plans much.
 
#8 ·
Save money for a 1-day ceremony or a fun car?

Kinda easy for me. Maybe that's why I'm 33, divorced, happy as a pig, with paid off house, new car paid for in cash once a year, and very controllable level of stress in life.

Honestly, dude, this is a car forum and your question is not about cars, but about relationships. Some people enjoy being bossed around by their wives (or as they call it - compromise, nothing wrong with that). Some prefer freedom, new people in their life and total control over their fate. In any case this is a much bigger issue than whether to buy a CR-Z with your own hard earned cash.
 
#9 ·
If she want's to spend 20 large or so on a wedding.. then run like hell! Is she going to pay half of the wedding? If not, I would do a justice of the peace type thing, at the local botanical gardens or something. I have been married twice, and divorced twice.. I made the money.. they wanted to spend it.... screw that! If you don't buy the car.. fine.. but spend the money on something worthwhile... like a house.. not some stupid couple of hours so you can make some photographer rich! My opinion.. of course...
 
#10 ·
Oh man, you're not even married and already whipped. Sorry brother but if it's your money you need to do what you want. This is coming from someone who is coming up on 25 years of marriage and 2 grown kids. I've never been told what car I can drive or purchase. If this is a sign of things to come "RUN." Haha good luck....
 
#11 ·
^^ Ah, there is CRaZee.. Where you been?

Straightforward advice. I had a justice of the peace ceremony and never divorced. 50 - eh - I mean 20-something years of blissful marriage - well 20-something years of marriage...

Teasing. Wouldn't trade it in for anything. Hard to find someone to put up with by bullsh!t and take care of me..

Just take measure. Is it about the event or is it about living, eating, sh!tting, Pee'ing and the aftermath together including, washing clothes, Tooth paste and spit in the sink, loose hair - from head and below etc. Who cleans up all that crap, control of the remote, etc etc - and learning to be best friends...

Learning to be best friends...

Edited: I may be fortunate but, I have never had to ask permission to buy a car as long as I was able to keep the wife in a car she liked. CR-Z was my decision with no collaboration required. Best Friends and she trust me and understands it is just a car.

umm, the small modifications I have done so far - well I lets just say I have to "put out" in order to work those on a case by case basis.
 
#16 ·
Get the car now it may be your last chance. Tell her how much you will save on gas. Run off to Vegas and have a wedding with 6 guests, you will save lots of money, maybe enough to have a start on the down payment for a house.

As somebody else pointed out this is a car forum.

GET THE CAR!
 
#17 ·
I'm so glad I don't do the whole almost married here have a say in my cash thing lol. I woke up, wanted a new car spent 2 weeks deciding and driving and went and purchased it and I still got laid yesterday.

Take that domestic servitude
 
#19 ·
Lets see, been married and divorced once, engaged three times, and then found the perfect woman and have been together for ten years.

Here's the thing, you guys are not married yet. I am not trying to cast a shadow on your engagement or anything like that but you never know what tomorrow brings. She could find someone else, you could find someone else, she could get cold feet and you could get cold feet and the list goes on..... who knows, so much can happen. Nothing is set in stone until there rings on both fingers and then you try like hell for the rest of your lives to make things work and make each other happy. When your married thats when you should make decisions based on mutual understanding and discussion.

True story, my wife 10 months before we where to marry wanted to get a base Honda Civic. I asked her if she would reconsider and if she really wanted to get a Civic then get the Si.

She got the base Civic.....

It is about fun as watching paint peel on a house but it is her car and she likes it (I hate it). In the end it was her money and we weren't married so there is not much I could do or say.

Now she wants a mini van.................. I rather keep the Civic.
 
#20 ·
Now she wants a mini van..................
noooo, say it isn't true... :pat::rotfl:

But, then again, might be a little safer having the kids wrapped in a minivan and just think - Soccer mom/dad by day, stylish CR-Z lovers by night.

Sorry doing it again, hijacking the OP's original thread. Hopefully it is all good.
 
#22 ·
Ahh Date night. That went away when I finished my masters and got a real job :( I tend to be working on the nights that my parents or her parents are able to watch my little girl.

I am calling my mom now to see if she can watch my daughter tonight and surprise my wife.
 
#24 ·
Can't tell you what to do. Relationships are risky business. I can tell you this. When I was deciding to get the car, I went through a period (after reading negative reviews) of being skeptical about buying. My current wife, who had seen how happy I was initially about getting it, then reminded me of that, why I thought it was a great car, and proved to be the ultimate persuador in what has proven to be a very gratifying experience both in owning the car and enhancing our relationship. Makes me realize its gotta work both ways. I kinda like that type of relationship. I think this is sort of about the car.
 
#27 ·
What, no female members popping in to this thread and giving their opinion? :box: :scared:
 
#30 ·
short answer:
buy the car

long answer:
when my husband and I were engaged, we (more or less) had this same discussion. except he didn't just want to get a new car...he wanted a 2ND car. I told him I was against it. I mentioned that we were saving for the wedding. Et cetera. But ALSO told him, I wasn't going to stop him. SO he bought the car.
Fast forward 6-9 months...he is diagnosed with a herniated disc, which (for him) is genetic, but he thinks was aggrevated by the seats in his second car, and is told by his doctor that he CANNOT DRIVE! So we have 3 cars between us (mine, that I owed outright, and his TWO CARS that we were making payments on--one of which was a stick shift, which I don't know how to drive), and just 1 driver: me.
We sold both of his cars within 2 weeks.
We had an awesome wedding.
When my car died 3 months after our wedding, we bought Sherman. My husband, who had said he'd never drive/want a Honda (his 2 other cars had both been BMWs) pretty much immediately fell in love with Sherman, and raves about "him" to EVERYONE ALL THE TIME--so much so that his parents also bought a CRZ a couple weeks after us, and my dad is also now thinking of getting one!
Anyway, my husband wanted his 2nd BMW, and I didn't stop him. I wanted a CRZ, and he didn't stop me. ...and anytime he starts to say ANYTHING about how much our wedding cost, and how much Sherman cost, and how I get whatever I want....I remind him that (1) the wedding was for both of us, AND our families & friends, (2) I never stopped him from getting his BMWs, (3) the TWO BMWs cost (WAAAAAAAYYYYYY) more than the wedding ever did, and (4) the 2ND BMW cost twice as much as our Sherman.

I guess my point is we've both let each other spend money when we felt we needed too (after much discussion), even though each of us didn't necessarily agree with how that money was spent. I think that's what "compromise" is. You need to pick your battles.
 
#31 ·
^ Thanks Janie.. Looks like "buy it" continues to be the theme...

BTW - My/Our anniversary day - Definitely a date night or weekend.. CR-Z is all cleaned up and ready to take us somewhere down highway 101.
 
#32 ·
Another vote for "buy it" - if you really want it that badly.

You don't want to think of your future wife as the one who kept you from your (other) heart's desire. Bad way to start a relationship.
But bear in mind the flip side - you'll have to bend in other ways, if she isn't going to look at the car and think that it (and you) spoiled her wedding.
Relationships are about accommodation, but there aren't any road maps to help you navigate the twists and turns. The Navi won't show you the way, either.

In the end, it is about each of you wanting the other to be happy, or at least that's what it's been for me. That's why, when I surprise my wife at the dealership tomorrow, the car will primarily be hers to drive. And she will love that, but want me to drive it a lot as well. And we will both be happy, as we have been for 19 years.

Good luck with both the car and the girl!
 
#33 ·
So I've been looking into getting a CR-Z since they launched, I've been saving up my spare cash so I can just go down to the Honda dealer and slap down my cash and drive away.

The wedding is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to saving, after the wedding she's going to want a house, and then babies and then I'm 50 and still driving my lousy chevy... or worse an SUV *shudder*
You could always lease the car for 3 years. Much lower payment than buying, shorter commitment AND you leave the cash in the bank a little longer.
 
#35 ·
Don't want to be a bummer either.. but current divorce rate for first marriages is like 50%... so it could go either way for you. Depends on how hard you work at it! If a responsible car is going to be a major issue, versus a silly huge wedding... well, think about it!
 
#37 ·
There was a comedian I saw at some event, goes on and on about being an immigrant from China, and the differences in living in the US.

"Now that I live in the U.S., I don't think I can ever get married.
Did you know that half of all marriages in the U.S. last FOREVER?"
 
#40 ·
Thanks for all the opinions, I think what I'm going to do is buy the car (duh), but explain to her that me buying the car isn't an attack on her wedding plans or against her opinion. See, the thing I may have glossed over is that she currently lives out of the country and wants to jump right into our life together. She doesn't want to come back to the states and live with her parents again, which I could totally understand. I notice a lot of people thinking she's gonna want to have some kinda crazy expensive wedding, which simply isn't the case, we just have a super large family. Between me and her our family is about 85 people, so if we only invite them we are still going to end up spending a boat load of cash just to feed them. Another thing is she can't work at the moment, her schooling is priority number one and as such, my income is the ONLY income at the moment... and will be until she gets back and starts working, at which point she'll be making that sweet vet cash.

Anyway, thanks again guys! I'm sold on getting my cr-z but I need to have a discussion with her first so as to not blow things up...


(P.S. long distance relationships are hard lol)
 
#42 ·
My wife comes an enormously large family. Tap into your resources to save money. We farmed out a bunch of stuff with family as far as cooking, clean up, DJ, flowers and the cake and even our honeymoon. I think the only thing we had to pay outright was for the photographer, her dress, and the tuxes. Bring that up to her when you talk to her.
 
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